Seem to be fine.

danielodowd:

kelly.victoria

Anonymous said: My boyfriend & I usually have sex on the floor behind his bed so when you walk in you can only see the bed. And we were having sex one day & I was on top and his mom walks in and she can't see him but she can see me with my shirt on, and she's asking me where he is and I'm sitting on his dick & he's on the bottom trying not to laugh and moving around to make me make faces. And we were talking for like 15 minutes while I was sitting on his dick and having pleasant talk with his mom. NEVER AGAIN.

necromorph-slayinglovemachine:

baegal:

When you’re almost dead in a game but somehow you managed to survive until the next level

image

(via kristiemarieeee)

foodieinspirit:

Skinny Spaghetti Squash Alfredo
1 medium-sized spaghetti squash
1 Tablespoon butter
3 cloves of garlic, finely minced
2 Tablespoons flour
1 1/2 cups milk(I used fat-free)
1 Tablespoon cream cheese or Neufchatel cheese
1 cup freshly grated Parmesan cheese, plus 2 Tablespoons extra for topping
1/4 teaspoon kosher salt
1/8 teaspoon freshly ground pepper
Crushed red pepper flakes and fresh parsley, for optional garnish
FROM: http://www.thecomfortofcooking.com/2013/03/skinny-spaghetti-squash-alfredo.html

Oh—you wouldn’t date a girl who’s ever been a stripper?
In that case, I wouldn’t date a guy who’s ever been to a strip club.

Oh—you wouldn’t date a girl who’s ever done porn?
In that case, I wouldn’t date a guy who’s ever watched porn.

You’re the reason we exist.
You’re the demand to our supply.
If you disdain sex workers, don’t you dare consume our labor.

As they say in the industry, “People jack off with the left hand and point with the right.”

the-masters-fallen-angel:

thefuuuucomics:

gambler-x:

im-the-doctor-basically-run:

tacticalhoneybadger:

miss-operator:

cerebralzero:

reparations:

moistnugget:

reparations:

unsubstantiatedrumors:

involved6:

cerebralzero:

bulletbutt:

Don’t move, tumblr. This is a stick up. Give me all your notes and nobody gets hurt.

Not so fast sonny boy, drop the SKS and no one will be losing any notes here.


Everybody stay frosty. No one has to close their account today if we all just stay calm.



I’ll waste the lot of you


Hände hoch, bitches. Gib mir alle ihre notizen!


NYET.


3 it is.. let’s get this party started.

Is that 3 nuggets up there? this is getting out of hand lol

I HAVE A GUN BONER. 


What? What’s all this fuckery?

Oh shit, it’s a gunblr showdown!

Mama always said this day’d come!

EVERYBODY BE FUCKIN’ COOL!


WOAH Calm down! Guns don’t solve problems. 
Weeeeeellllllllll… ok they solve SOME problems, like an attacking spaceship or being chased by a dinosaur, but USUALLY guns don’t solve problems.

There. I’ve disabled them. Now none of your guns work.

Go to your rooms and think about what you’ve done.
Don’t make me tell you again.

Woops! Sorry Doc, but look what I got.

A flintlock pistol, and know what flintlock pistols are mainly composed of?

Wood.

THE MEN OF TUMBLR

And every girl on tumblr should suddenly realize, while they’re fangirling over all these actors, there’s guys like these already here.
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